I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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