an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
