Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
