i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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