My room smells like vodka and shame
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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