One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
