yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
