I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
