So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
