i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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