You're completely useless in the revolution.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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