The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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