Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
accomplished twins. life is a go
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
