i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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