I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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