Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
