i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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