that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
