I wish I only lived at night.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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