Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize