Sry I called you an 8
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
