I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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