i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
