Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
