He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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