Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I understand Curling. That high.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
