just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
