I am in a vortex of obligation.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
