ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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