shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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