I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize