Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just had sex on a roof
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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