Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
