Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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