lets start a swedish sibling band together
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
