Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
