dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
