So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
