I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
