You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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