This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize