so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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