Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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