All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize