Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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