6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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