Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
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