Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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