This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
