You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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