I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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