Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
