around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh god it's open bar.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
