i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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