i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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