did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
