Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
