I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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