i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
