i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
