She said her name was "party"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
