"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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